Apple Prison Blues

January 27, 2013: 6:35 PM ET

With apologies to Johnny Cash (who borrowed the tune from Gordon Jenkins)

Cash at Folsom Prison. Photo: Sony BMG

Cash performing for inmates at Folsom Prison in 1968. Photo: Sony BMG

FORTUNE -- Reader Tim Martin, who says he's made a killing lately on Apple (AAPL) puts, has rewritten Johnny Cash's Folsom Prison Blues for his friends on the other side of those trades:

Apple Prison Blues

I hear my iPhone ringin'
My broker's on the line
Lord I ain't seen a rally, and I doan like to whine,
But I'm stuck in Apple prison, and it is not so fine
But that Nasdaq keeps a fallin', and Cramer can't say why...

When I was just a baby my mama told me. Doc,
Always be a good boy, don't ever play with stocks.
But I bought a thousand AAPL, just to watch it die
When I hear that margin callin', I hang my head and cry...


I bet there's rich folks eating from a fancy Goldman car
They're probably drinkin' coffee and smoking big cigars.
Well I know I had it coming, I know I can't be rich
But those brokers keep a sellin'
And that's a real bitch...

Well if they freed me from this prison,
If that Goldman train was mine
I'd take it up to Napa, and load it full of wine
Far from Apple prison, that's where I want to stay
And I'd let a jug of Merlot wash my blues away.....

  • Video: Conan O'Brien spoofs Jony Ive

    Apple's slick promotional videos have become a ripe target for mockery

    Nobody can match the quality of the work coming out of Jonathan Ive's industrial design shop, but his soft-spoken commentaries in Apple's (AAPL) promotional videos are becoming a cliché.

    That makes them a ripe target for parody, and on Thursday night Conan O'Brien gave it his best shot.

    TBS has posted a short version. A longer version, including O'Brien's finger-wriggling imitation of MORE

    - Mar 5, 2011 6:39 AM ET
  • Comic relief: The Apple Product Cycle

    As Macworld approaches, this is as good a time as any to revisit the canonical Apple Product Cycle, boiled down to 36 steps by an anonymous humorist who called himself misterbg. Originally posted more than three years ago, it rings as a true today as it did then. The full parody is available here. A sample below:

    It begins:

    An obscure component manufacturer somewhere in the Pacific Rim announces a major order MORE

    - Dec 11, 2007 9:40 AM ET
Current Issue
  • Give the gift of Fortune
  • Get the Fortune app
  • Subscribe
Powered by VIP.